Manifestation Designs

Originally posted June 2, 2007:

Last October, I took a class on the Pearl Pentacle with Thorn Coyle at Reflections Mystery School. During an guided meditation in which we expanded our awareness of our being to feel the love of the Star Goddess, I had a vision of “a violet heart as if seen under black light, surrounded and penetrated by the flowing, inky dark smoke of starry space.”

I tried soon thereafter to bring this vision into a digital collage, but couldn’t get the smoke right. I thought I might have to paint or draw this image, but never got around to it. But as always with these spontaneous visions seeking to be brought into this realm, it would not leave me be.

Yesterday, I began playing around with the images again. I knew from the beginning that I would use this image of a heart x-ray. I have used it in several other works, and now my subconscious uses it when speaking to me about the divine heart. I found an image of “substantial” smoke coming from one stick of incense, and used that to begin creating the starry dark smoke.

When I am in the artist zone, several hours can flow by without me noticing. I am following a river of potentials and possibilities. The process, when it is working, feels almost effortless, as if everything falls into place. When it is not working, or when it is time, it is very frustrating — I can’t find the right images, get the right placement, or execute the right technique. And I love the feelings of triumph, relief, and completeness that accompany getting the image on the screen or shrine in harmony with the image before my etheric eyes.

[tags]black heart, star goddess, pearl pentacle, sacred art, artwork, digital collage[/tags]

Originally published on May 8, 2007

I went to Arizona last fall for a combo vacation/elopement/honeymoon. We traveled to Phoenix, Tuscon, and Sedona, but my favorite stop (besides getting married or hiking up Bell Rock) was the little Mexican import store Suenos, where I danced with glee at finding inexpensive Day of the Dead statues. I decided to buy some Loteria cards. The images and colors struck me as being potentially useful for future collages and such.

I showed the Loteria cards to my dear friend Ryni. Upon seeing the card of the mermaid, titled Sirena, she told me that her father used to call her that. So, I decide to create a shrine for her using that image as a central element. Ryni and I also have a strong bond to water, so a mermaid/water shrine seemed a natural fit.

Soon thereafter, I stumbled upon Kim Antieau’s web site through Joanna Powell Colbert’s Gaia Tarot Artist’s Journal and read all about the Church of the Old Mermaids. I was entranced, and immediately went to Ryni (who as of yet does not have a blog!), to tell her about the Old Mermaids — they were right up her alley. But she had beaten me to the punch, having learned about them and their sanctuaries through her own hyperlinked travels.

It seems a foregone conclusion that the shrine morph into a Old Mermaid Sanctuary. The interior of the box came together swiftly. When I saw the original of the image I used for the exterior, I immediately saw a mermaid rather than a girl on her tiptoes. But the first iteration of the exterior did not come together at all. There was something wrong with it.

Playing on the Internet at work one day, I came across a map with the words “Arroyo de Agua.” Yes!!! Use maps as the background!!! I looked for map sources that would fit with the split between the Old Sea and the New Desert.

This Old Mermaid Sanctuary now lives at my friend’s house. Every new moon, she reaches into the box and pulls out a curled scrap of paper. Each holds a suggestion from the Old Mermaids.

I love it when the labyrinth of life leads me to such beauty. Thank you, all you wonderful, talented people who inspire me.

[tags]artwork, digital collage, church of old mermaids, mermaid sanctuary, Kim Antieau[/tags]

Originally published on February 26, 2007:

On Wednesday, I wrote a poem based on the name given me during my Reflections initiation this last weekend.

WaterMaker,
Out of your womb,
Flow the waters of life;
Out of your eyes,
Flow the waters of our souls;
Out of your heart,
Flow the waters of love.

WaterMaker,
Rejuvenate us;
Cleanse us;
Love us.

Teach us how to pour
Forth your compassion
To each other and our ailing world.

I will catch your love and
healing in my arms, in my heart.
And I will share it with
the dry, parched world.

I am RainCatcher.

The poem touched off the beginnings of an image that I am supposed to paint/draw, but I only saw the borders — abstracted ocean waves and river flows.

Yesterday, as I was walking back from lunch, it began to rain — droplets of water hitting my head and face. Yes, this is to be in the image as well — rain drops emanating from the center. But I still don’t see the center. I do some online reading about the Feri guardians, particularly Water Maker.

Today, I am listening to music on iTunes and a song popped up on random two days in a row — “Simbi Dio” from Rhythms of Rapture. Struck by this coincidence, I decide to look up Simbi.

In Haitian Vodun, Simbi (also Sim’bi) is a large and diverse family of serpent Loa (Vodoun spirit) from the West Central Africa / Kongo region. Some prominent Simbi Loa include Simbi Dlo (also Simbi d’l'eau - Simbi of the Water), Simbi Makaya, Simbi Andezo (Simbi of Two Waters), and Gran Simba. Traditionally in their Kongo context they are all associated with water…

Milo Rigaud (City Lights, NY; c1969; “Secrets of Voodoo”) speaks of Simbi as the Vodou Mercury, the messenger of Legba (the Sun). In this aspect Simbi is the bearer of souls to all places, and the creative principle.

As I am reading this, I see the next layer in — a blue water serpent/dragon ouroboros that is spinning and sending off drops of rain from its skin in a whirlpool/spiral motion.

Yes. Yes! But what is in the center? I don’t know until I daydream and loosely word and image associate.

…Spinning…
…Creation…
…Spiral…
…Galaxy???

So, being at work, I go back online and do an image search for “spiral galaxy.”

With a quick intake of breath and recognition, I know. Yes. Yes! That is in the center. I sit and stare beyond the wall, slackjawed at the beauty of the full, moving, breathing picture. Oh! But I want to show it to you.

Now I have the vision, but it is blurry. I cannot see the details. Those will come with the actual drawing, as pencil interacts with canvas and paper.

But I am so excited.

So excited!

I Am One Who pulls you down into a whirlpool of despair and doubts. One little thought is all I need to spin around and around in your head until you cannot think of anything else but your pain. Shadowy hands grab at your heart and pull it apart. A fist grabs around your throat. You cannot speak. You cannot think. You can only cry out in pain, choking until your eyes burst from crying and your heart breaks from your despair.

I Am One Who reflects the beauty of the universe back to itself. I am the Beloved. I am the dark mirror. I am who comes to you in scrying and crying into the night; I wrap my arms around you in passion and comfort. I am the dark expanse of space. I call you to reach out to me, for in doing so, you touch your authentic self. Find me in the corner of your eye and hear my siren song calling your soul home.

I Am One Who dances the universe into creation. I am full of the energy of potential too large to be contained within a small hot core. I am the snake that squeezes the juice out of life. The energies of the stars, galaxies, course through me and swirl around me. I am the cosmos birthing, turning, burning, dying. I am the yearning of the heart when you look up at the night sky full of diamonds.

I Am One Who peers through the peephole and sees the secrets that others try to hide. I am curious as to what happens behind closed doors that they don’t want anyone to see. Curiosity killed the cat, but I just want to know what is going on. I have learned to not ask about what I see nor to tell your secrets.

I began creating images for mental states I was experiencing and giving each a voice to speak to me. The first that reared its head was SLOTH WOMAN.

I am One Who drags you down and away from all that you say you want to do. I pull you into mindlessness and time creeps by as you watch with glazed eyes. Like gravity, there is no fighting me. You have to sleep or do nothing right now…whether you want to or not.

Sloth Woman is definitely a shadow of mine, and in writing the above, I think I found the gold — rest. Now, the choice is mine to honor this voice at the table and rest before I get wiped out completely, or resist it, throwing it back in shadowland and getting sucked into the black hole of sloth.